#note/sourcereview/book / #source/book📚/nonfiction ```toc ``` ## What is the thesis? - being mindful of each step of the gathering, starting with why you are gathering and building from there, will lead to effective and meaningful experiences ## Am I convinced and why? - I do believe this to some extent, it's also possible that this requires some training as it will be different from what people expect ## Summarize the book ### Chapter 1 Begin with a purpose: - Deepening our understanding of each other as humans so we lean on each other as we live, create, and teach together What is the actual problem and how does our structure and function help to support or undermine the goals of improving that problem  Don’t fall for the superficial why, get deeper [[first seek to understand]] get brave and specific  For example: for our retreat what would be the why? We become attached to the ritual (forms) of a gathering and when the need shifts the ritual can keep us stuck by our sense of belonging the the ritual even when it no longer serves the new purpose  The narrower and focused the gathering is the more passion it develops - [[ask five whys to learn the real issue]] Proposed reasons for CMS retreat: - Supporting brave learning in and out of the sim lab through development of an experiential process that co-creates rules of the classroom Proposed reasons for CEMA winter evening: - To strengthen the bonds within the FDA and APP community. 2000 on our history and wow acknowledging our change to Ringo Hannah - To help us transition through this time of crisis with support and wisdom from our founders and energy and perspective from our newest partners ### Chapter 3 The host is the leader They must state their role and continue to enforce Abdication of that role allows [[informal power]] informal powers of tenure, force of personality and strength of sales for example to dominate  [[use generous authority]]  - power in the service of others  - In service of the larger values of the community  - protecting equalizing connecting  FOOD - Rule serve each other not yourself RULES: - Explicit rules make the moment temporary and makes multiple cultures coming together easier because the rules are explicit  **Assertive equality** From chapter 3 of gathering The idea is that when you are a leader you need to recognize the dynamic and assert your authority towards equality ### Chapter 4: Planning **When planning a gathering think about what state of mind you want people in** From chapter 5 the art of gathering Have them do something to get them in the state of mind instead of bring something **The 90% rule** 90% of what makes a gathering successful happens before the gathering Chapter 5 of the art of gathering Priming and preparing the humans for the day has a lot to do with it success **Priming for the gathering** People need to know how to show up.  The NAME has a lot to do with this Ask people to do something before arrival The thoughtful gatherer focuses on the tone of the guests on arrival **Focus on connecting people, often parties start out with more host guest connections and the goal would be to end up with more gas gas connections** ### Chapter 5: Transitions **Ushering the gathering** Some guests will need support moving from where they are to where you want them to be. Guests arrive with their brain somewhere else Create a passageway or doorway. Physical or metaphorical.  _Idea: Transition Drink - offer alcoholic and non-alcoholic version, mystical and transformative_ [_https://www.liquor.com/articles/magic-cocktails/_](https://www.liquor.com/articles/magic-cocktails/) _I like the idea of using a test-tube as a vessel and giving everyone a pre-made drink with a dropper that causes a transformation - an invitational ceremony to allow you to enter a new space_  _Use a sparkling wine (also can get non-alcoholic) and add some magic ingredient”:_ [_https://www.wildhibiscus.com/collections/flower-extracts/products/blure-butterfly-pea-flower-extract?variant=1041694912_](https://www.wildhibiscus.com/collections/flower-extracts/products/blure-butterfly-pea-flower-extract?variant=1041694912) _to create a color changing drink to symbolize the transition_ [_https://www.amazon.com/SEOH-125mm-Plastic-Test-Tubes/dp/B002J9SIOU_](https://www.amazon.com/SEOH-125mm-Plastic-Test-Tubes/dp/B002J9SIOU) **Awe and Honor: make your guests feel like valued members of a club to which they don’t yet belong** ### Chapter 6: keep your best self out of my gathering* **Design for realness**  **Model vulnerability**   **Relate moments of transformation**  **Grace: The prebrief begins when the participants become aware of the activity** **Roles:**  **This is a pilot** **Ask participants to make note of the different moments and how they work or not and we would gather those thoughts at the end**  **Different methods of feedback would be email, survey monkey, quick +/delta** **Grace and Lon to co-host** **Greeting people when they come in** **Setup and check** **Food drinks and rules** **Geofencing your rules:**  **In the kitchen and living room try not to talk about work, if you find your self talking about work okay to move somewhere else and or just change the topic** **So we are hoping to have a mixture of optional activities** ### Chapter 6: Keep your best self out of the gathering [[sprout speeches]] instead of stump speeches - speeches about what you're starting as opposed to what you've finished [[crucible moments]] - bring up moments that shaped you by challenging you or what you failed at Use invitation to intimacy, depth is the choice [[everyone in the pool, but how deep is a choice]] [[modeling vulnerability]] is a key here, the host needs to go first and jump in the deep end ### Chapter 7: Good Controversy [[co-creating rules]]: "What do you need to be able to (feel safe, learn, contribute) here?" think in [[gift vs risk]], what is the gift that you will get by having a certain conversation vs the risk you will take on by entering into it ### Chapter 8: Accept that there's an end [[2023 Year of "embrace"]] - Embrace everything, even the end [[don't begin or end a funeral with logistics]] Create a "Last call" -> Logistics -> Strong Closing The strong closing should not identify what we did instead should focus on who we were. ## What is the other side of the argument? ## What else do I wonder about? ## Action ## When do I want to stumble across this? #on/leadership ## Source: Parker, P. (2018). _The art of gathering: How we meet and why it matters_ (International edition). Riverhead Books. ## References, Quotes, Ideas ```dataview table file.mtime.year + "-" + file.mtime.month + "-" + file.mtime.day as Modified from [[The Art of Gathering]] and !outgoing([[The Art of Gathering]]) sort file.mtime desc ```