--- book type: non-fiction genre: Negotiation status: #source/book📚/nonfiction | #source/book📚/ingested author: Chris Voss title: Never Split The Difference created: 2023-02-07 --- #note/sourcereview/book ## What is the thesis? - By understanding the person or group you are negotiating with you will find solutions better than could be imagined and get better outcomes than you could have predicted ## Am I convinced and why? _I am convinced that this works for negotiation_ - Compromise is a failure - usually both sides don't get what they want, and you resulted in creating a zero-sum game where there didn't have to be one, thus limiting the choices. [[Negotiate to Optimize not Compromise]] - No negotiated solution is better than a bad solution - Focus on listening, listening again, and listening again. [[Listening to Understand]] and get to [[That's exactly right]] - Ask questions to say "No" - use [[Inquiry]] instead of providing answers. "How am I supposed to do that for this price?" - Early "No" by the person you are negotiating with is good because it gets them to have a perception of control. [[no is the first step to yes]], [[locus of control]] is the key here, the perception of the locus of control staying with the other person is the key to them continuing to negotiate. - Early "Yes" by the person you are negotiating with is bad because they haven't struggled to get there and often are saying yes to get out of the conversation. The early yes is often not associated with commitment. - [[there is no yes without how]], how is the negotiated solution that matters - Avoid why, why makes people defensive, [[ask about how something would work instead of why they believe it]] ## Summarize the argument - Every pressure results in an equal or even stronger pressure against your position. [[first seek to understand]]: seeking to understand without pressure lets them build your case, keeps their (and your) mind open to new using [[Creating]] to find new solutions. If they are upset they aren't thinking creatively. [[anger floods us with motivation]] but reduces our flexibility. ## What is the other side of the argument? - [[black swan events]] are by definition the result of [[Blind Spot]]s - If they feel they are being played, it will be hard to keep their [[Thinking]] open ## What else do I wonder about? - How do we apply these concepts to the moment of interaction between two physicians who are negotiating leadership in a team? ## Action - In my next clinical experience with another physician in the room, I am going to start with an audit: "I'm thinking you're worried I'm going to dominate the room," then ask a question, "How should we organize leadership in this situation?" If there's a solution proposed that I can't live with, "How am I supposed to do that?" ## When do I want to stumble across this? #on/negotiation | #on/leadership | #on/thinking | #on/communication ## Source: Voss, C. (2016). _Never split the difference: Negotiating as if your life depended on it_ (First edition). HarperBusiness, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers. %% ## References, Quotes, Ideas ```dataview table file.mtime.year + "-" + file.mtime.month + "-" + file.mtime.day as Modified from [[Never Split The Difference]] and !outgoing([[Never Split The Difference]]) sort file.mtime desc ```