[[Developing Values]] tags:: #note/statement dates:: 2022-03-13 people:: #people/ryanholiday #people/thay *I leverage my suffering to grow happiness and wisdom.* This is a philosophy that tells us that there is no happiness without pain, there is no growth without decay, there is no future without past, there is no love without heartbreak. Yin-Yang. These are the same thing. It's a way of seeing pain as how we grow. This reminds me of Ringo teaching me to run away to get him to come, which is a form [[Wu Wei]]. This reminds me of Hannah chewing blankets. All blankets will wear out eventually, she is reminding me of that. "The glass is already broken when you buy it" is the Budda's way of thinking about this. As Cynthia said, when Hannah ruins something, she's teaching me what's really important. It's kind of like [[Fear-setting]], instead of thinking of the advantages of hardships that we may face, we only consider the disadvantages. If we focus on the possible bad outcomes, we become paralyzed by decisions and fall into [[Deciding]]. When we can focus on [[Identifying Reality]] and can see that our desire for everything to always be positive hampers our decision making and reduces our ability to grow and learn, we focus on the wrong things. But I'm thinking this is one step not far enough. It is not just that we focus on the wrong things, it is that we don't recognize the advantage of pain, worry, struggle, hardship. Those are opportunities. But this also is wrong, they are not ways to optimize. They are reality. When we think about always optimizing, we lose being aware, being present, identifying reality. When I climb, if I pay attention to the feeling in my body of pain, fatigue, etc. I can properly identify where I am losing energy, then I can find ways of addressing that move that reduce my energy loss, that make me more efficient. I also will have the joy of paying attention to how I'm feeling right now! I'll have the joy of being present, I'll have the flow of being one with my body and the world. Falling will be a teacher, it will help me find the location of my struggles, and it will no longer be a barrier I have faced, instead it will be an opportunity I have been given. If I pay attention to my anxiety over falling, my fear of not performing, or my "failure" to complete the climb, I'm participating in my own [[Power Leaks]] to the world. Of course the opposite would be, who wants to suffer? Pain is suffering, fear is suffering, loss is suffering. Our bodies avoid suffering. Our emotional suffering is felt as real pain by our bodies, and we avoid that as well. The normal human state is to avoid suffering. Why do I want to think I'm smarter or better than millions of years of evolution? ## Sources: [[The Obstacle Is the Way]] [No Mud No Lotus](https://www.amazon.com/No-Mud-Lotus-Transforming-Suffering/dp/1937006859) - by #people/thay Justine recommended this as a source to read