topic: [[Identity]] people: created: 2024-09-21 *How can I stay present with what I'm actually feeling, to be curious, and to learn.* ##### what is it? How to be present fully with yourself, ridding yourself of the distorting filters that have been imposed on us from the outside. We need to share and receive what our experience in the present moment is actually like. ##### why does it matter? In what ways do we abandon ourselves in order to be with other people? How do we know ourselves? There are things we know to be objective facts about ourselves (informational level) There are things that are our stories about ourselves - eg ego stories (personal levels). This helps us create a stable story about ourselves The deepest way we can possibly know ourselves is to be present with ourselves on the moment to moment experience of being us. If I am feeling something, can I be present and aware of that feeling? (experiential level, self-relational) Can I stay present even if that feeling is threatening on a personal level? For example, can I stay with the feeling of anger, even if that differs than the story I have about myself. Normally, when the feeling and the story conflict, we argue with what we are feeling, or we argue with the experience we are having, to create concordance. Ask yourself ... What are our current ways that we deal with the discomfort? For me, it is over-eating to keep me from being present of the feelings of stress during or after a shift. I want to feel something else. Eating is a way of feeling something else. It changes the internal feelings, to hide them. "What would you be feeling right now if you hadn't ... I'm just curious. And what else do I actually need?" ##### This reminds me of [[true authentic self]] [[wholehearted]] [[embrace your hypocrisy]] [[scientific process]], the process of looking for evidence that is **disconfirming,** which helps us develop a more nuanced view of our authentic self. For example, if we tell ourselves "I am a nice person," we might find that _broad_ view of ourselves is limiting. We might have situations where being clear is more important than being nice, and we can learn from that. If we can apply [[curiosity]] to the moment to moment experiences, we can become aware of where we are hiding from our emotions or experiences. ##### What would the opposite argument be? There are only so many ways that it is helpful to know ourselves. If we keep bringing up feelings that we don't want, and we are not able to be supported through those feelings, we might be worse off if we trigger emotions or internal conflict we can't deal with. tags: #note/idea | #on/authenticity | #on/selfassessment ##### Sources: [How To Stop Living As The Fake You And Start Living As The Real You](https://youtu.be/D5Zxdt_SkwE?feature=shared) Heidi Priebe