topic: [[Creating]] people: #people/chrisvoss created: 2023-03-17 *Taking ownership of the negotiation is a sign of willingness to participate, No is a way of declaring that.* This reminds me of [[understanding is mostly a process of clearing up misunderstanding]], the path to expertise is discovering and experiencing the counterintuitive nature of a field. In [[Negotiate to Optimize not Compromise]], one of the counterintuitive ideas is that when the other person says "No," it is really the first step towards "Yes." If they say "Yes" the often just want the conversation to end and they won't be committed to the "how" which is the real solution, since [[there is no yes without how]]. It's kind of like Thomas Edison found 1,000 ways to not make a lightbulb. This matters because staying with the negotiation is the key to understanding, and the goal is to [[first seek to understand]]. If you have early closure of the understanding, you won't find the best solutions. ##### What would the opposite argument be? tags: #note/statement ##### Sources: [[Never Split The Difference]]