topic: [[People Growing]] people: #people/ericaboothby created: 2023-07-05 *I think people like me less than they do, especially when we first meet.* This reminds me of [[Blind Spot]] and how uncertain we can be since [[your leaky face]] is blind only to you. It's kind of like [[transitional identity]] and [[imposter phenomenon]] and how we can struggle to feel that we belong. The liking gap is a research discovered gap between our perception of how people feel about us, often in the initial phases of meeting or [[Teaming by Amy Edmondson]], and how they really feel. This matters because if we made explicit our concerns or our feelings, we are more likely to understand how others feel about us. Then we can relax, [[🐓 Idea Farm/Deadfall/For myself only/Readwise/Books/Trying Not to Try]], and be present which will increase our ability to [[Listening to Understand]] and pay attention to the other person. ##### What would the opposite argument be? The uncertainty is good because you don't want to expose yourself to early to others. tags: #note/idea | #on/relationships | #on/meeting | #on/perception | ##### Sources: Vedantem, Shankar. _How Others See You | Hidden Brain Media_ (JULY 3, 2023). Retrieved July 5, 2023, from [https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/mind-reading-how-others-see-you/](https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/mind-reading-how-others-see-you/) Boothby, E. J., Cooney, G., Sandstrom, G. M., & Clark, M. S. (2018). The Liking Gap in Conversations: Do People Like Us More Than We Think? _Psychological Science_, _29_(11), 1742–1756. [https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618783714](https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797618783714) Mastroianni, A. M., Cooney, G., Boothby, E. J., & Reece, A. G. (2021). The liking gap in groups and teams. _Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes_, _162_, 109–122. [https://doi.org/10.1016/j.obhdp.2020.10.013](https://doi.org/10.1016/j.obhdp.2020.10.013)