%% [[Coaching]] people:: #people/adamgrant Lon Setnik dates:: 2022-11-13 %% *Being so present with someone that they trust you not by your charisma but by your listening.* This reminds me of [[Wu Wei]], effortless listening. It is also kind of like when you are in [[Yin Yang]], where you are appreciating the whole instead of desiring to be like one way or another. It's kind of like [[focus attention]] on the task, and when the task is [[Listening to Understand]], you are allowing the whole person to be heard. You can try your best to sense with your [[exteroception]] and your [[interoception]] to [[Identifying Reality]] and using the [[scientific process]] which doesn't let you close the book before it's ready to be closed. Reverse charisma is the feeling someone gets by your attention to them, instead of the feeling they give you by you demanding their attention. It matters because people really just want to be heard, and if they can be heard they can be joined with you in the real problem of solving reality, instead of sticking to their guns. ### What would the opposite argument be? If people would just pay attention to my ideas, all these problems would be solved! %% tags: #note/idea | #on/relationships | #on/listening | #on/charisma %% ## Sources: [[Think Again]] Chapter 8