--- topic: [[Relating]] created: 2023-02-09 --- *When facing someone who is triggered, only seek to get them out of their triggered state.* This reminds me of [[Listening to Understand]], the goal here is only allowing them to feel understood. Here listening for the [[Feeling]] behind the words is key. Emergency Empathy is a process from [[🐓 Idea Farm/Deadfall/For myself only/Readwise/Books/Nonviolent Communication]] that involves Naming the feelings and possible needs, "It looks like your feeling frustrated because you're worried that you're not being listened to" This matters because in the setting of [[Amygdala Hijacking]], [[anger floods us with motivation]] but the [[emotion changes the world we are in]] and can become an [[emotional contagion]]. This creates a narrowed [[Deciding]] since [[emotion and cognition interact to effect learning and memory and decisions]]. The possible move for working better together with [[relational coordination]] is lost. ##### What would the opposite argument be? When someone is angry _they_ are the one who needs to get control, why are you doing the work? tags: #note/idea | #on/listening | #on/emotion ##### Sources: [[🐓 Idea Farm/Deadfall/For myself only/Readwise/Books/Nonviolent Communication]] Rosenberg, M. B. (2015). _Nonviolent communication: A language of life_ (3rd edition). PuddleDancer Press.