topic: [[Feedback]] created: 2023-05-18 *A [[cognitive reframing]] of criticism from an attack on you to a request from you made in an ineffective way.* This reminds me of [[accidental feedback]] It's kind of like [[emotion changes the world we are in]], This statement clarifies criticism, it reframes it to a form of [[Feedback]] or a request. It is being made poorly because of the emotional activation of the speaker. Since [[it's all data]], if we can step back and see criticism differently, we can avoid becoming defensive and act with [[empathic listening]], clarify the request, and move towards deciding if we want to fulfill it, or not. ##### What would the opposite argument be? It's okay to respond to this type of poor request negatively. Allow that you will. You can give feedback on the feedback. However, the counter-counter argument, is that you might miss an important [[Blind Spot]] if you change the conversation to feedback on feedback. It would be better to [[name it to tame it]], then respond with [[curiosity]], get deeper to understand the request. tags: #note/statement | #on/feeling | #on/feedback ##### Sources: [[The 5 love languages]]