topic: [[Mentoring]] created: 2023-05-26 *I need to have a sense of control of some parts of my life.* This reminds me of [[Three Freedoms]]:, [[economic freedom]], [[Informational Freedom]] [[psychological freedom]] It's kind of like the opposite of [[reactance]], when I feel pressure I have the urge to push back. Autonomy is a sense of self-control. It matters because if I don't have the right amount of autonomy, I feel constrained and I cannot bring my authentic self. I cannot be whole and grow. ##### What would the opposite argument be? The key is the *right amount* which is really a social construct based on expectations. Since [[the secret to unhappiness is expectations]], and [[You have no responsibility to live up to other people's expectations]], you can end up in a situation where your imagination and others may have created conflict. [[The best indicator of future conflict is past unresolved conflict]], so if this conflict in expectations about how much autonomy you have is not managed and negotiated, you won't have happiness. tags: #note/idea | #on/happiness ##### Sources: