topic: [[Peak performance]] people: #people/edwardslinglerland created: 2022-12-13 Lon Setnik _I can give you the gift of paying real attention to you._ This reminds me of [[🐓 Idea Farm/3 Inbox of ideas/situational awareness]] and being aware of when your most important task is presence. It's kind of like [[happy people tend to be those who control their time and energy]], in this case you're trying to control your energy by not trying, instead by [[🐓 Idea Farm/Deadfall/For myself only/Readwise/Books/Trying Not to Try]]. De is a form of charismatic power that comes from not trying and being present This matters because when you try to get attention, most people recognize that. When you instead aim for [[presence]] and don't try to [[focus attention]] you exude a special confidence and attractiveness. However, the real goal of this is just the joy of totally being there for someone. ##### What would the opposite argument be? [[any attention is a behavioral reinforcement]], do you really want to have the attention on you? %% tags: #note/idea | #on/wuwei | #on/attention | #on/charisma %% ##### Sources: [[🐓 Idea Farm/Deadfall/For myself only/Readwise/Books/Trying Not to Try]]