- [x] Set timer for 20 minutes - [x] Start writing Where does the sleeplessness come from? My watch, god bless it, thinks my nights aren't stressed after my work episodes. But, I know the difference... It's interesting and a little sad but not surprising that Jeremy Semeiks is basically burned out. He came in too fast, too hard. I feel myself being pulled away from Concord by the wrecking ball that is American healthcare. I don't have the energy to commit to projects. And, that is ok. It is ok to see my ER work as maintaining. I can be on this slower path for a while. I need to reset, back off, and just be a good person when I'm there, doing my best. I can do a little more with the medical students, once per 6-8 weeks. It's ok for this to be an experimental time, and exploration time, a survival time. I knew that I would be busier with two kids in school. We knew we could work a little more for a few years. I can focus on revenue generating and maintaining. What got in the way? How can I reframe? CH is a good job for me because of our night coverage, I don't need to work as many nights proportionally. Let's experiment with a few things right now... Writing without editing: Go Even when you plan, work, you don't control. That is the reality. The squash borer beetles can get in, they can attack. You need to always be aware that the life force, the squash blosso,ms hid e some penetrating beetles. As you are growing, you are sewing the future seeds of your own challenges or death. That is the secret being stalking you in the shadows. Everything Flows. That will be my new tattoo. That will be the thing that I waear on one arm. That is resonating. THe chai will be on my chest with my dad. The **Panta Rhei** will be on my right middle bicep. It signifies strength and always will be in view. [[Flow]] is part of erverything flows, of panta rhei. I have to have my mom write it out. [have my mom write Panta Rhei on Thursday night](https://todoist.com/app/task/8294089352) [I need a picture of my dad's Chai against a white background](https://todoist.com/app/task/8294090058) What is lfowing right now? What are the big pictures that are flowing right now? Lyle, Ellye, what is flowing for them? Ellye is experiencing some Panta Rhei... They are being pulleed by the forces of time towards lives that are filled with the same issues that I've always faced. The same opportunities, reframes, challenges, moments. Ellye and Lyle, the next generation. I am so lucky and fortunate and happy that we are able to be there for them. Keeping oing - what else is flowing? The seasonality. The surges of water, rain, the filling and falling of the seasonal stream. The growing and decaying of mushrooms. The flowing of writing. The flowing of reading. The grwoign of French, the loosing of French. What are the big focuses of this season? How have I done? I have managed to get outside a LOT. I hvsae really enjoyed the being of outsidedness. Let's let the gravity of outside pull me. There is so much to explore and do. I do want to plan some winter hikes to finisht he 4000' club this winter instead of so much climbing, Let my body rest. I am happy with that plan. What are the [[Barbells make you stronger]] that I should focus on for the winter? Maybe I should lift and train and hike but not climb much this winter... We shall have to see what time I have alotted. If I were to work more at Littleton, I could do my hikes after my shifts, then bang out more of the W4000' and get outside and put in the miles, cut down on the extra driving. That might be a good combination of activities, a good negotiatoion with myself: [[Funny how you can always win negotiations you're not crazy about winning]] Turning outward, everything flows is a demonstration of the political climate. The global heating is making the swings further and further, howeverr soare many of the other forces. The swings are ging to break the current status-quo. It will be messy. We will get hirraines where we are not used to them, we will get tornadoes at the north pole, waterspouts. We wantt to control this ptich and yaw, but we cannot. Some efforts to control are helpful in certain contedxts, but some create futuer bigger wildfires. What I mean by that is sometiems the effort to reduce current damage leads to future unsafe conditions. That's the reality of [[Systems]]. So, what am I noticing about my flowing writing? I have a diffcult time seeing the red lines of errors and not correctin them. Maybe this process will awfllow me to get ot be able o write without worrying about the editing. What if I look at my hnads and not at the screen? Will that help me get early drafts out quickly? Peut etre, si je escribe en francais, est-il meilleur ou peilleur ? En ecrivant en Francais, je ne peux pas editer mes textes. Mais, je suis plus lentement avec mon ecriver. Le "flow" es plus lente, es plus _regulated_ parce que je n'ai pas les mots ou les gramaire pour tout que je veux appeler. Je ne peux pas crier plus forte. Je pense que il est une bonne idea pour ecriver les "papiers des matains" en francais une jour pour semaine. Et quand je suis conduirant, je peux faire des papiers des matains pour dictation en la voiture. Demain, je vais ecriver les papiers des matains pour siri. Here's the improved version, but I got my point across: Here’s a corrected version of your French text: --- Peut-être, si j'écris en français, est-ce mieux ou pire ? En écrivant en français, je ne peux pas éditer mes textes. Mais je suis plus lent dans mon écriture. Le "flow" est plus lent, plus régulé parce que je n'ai pas les mots ou la grammaire pour tout ce que je veux dire. Je ne peux pas m'exprimer aussi fort. Je pense que c'est une bonne idée d'écrire les "papiers du matin" en français un jour par semaine. Et quand je conduis, je peux faire les "papiers du matin" par dictée dans la voiture. Demain, je vais écrire les "papiers du matin" avec Siri. Peut-être, si j’écris en français, est-ce mieux ou pire ? En écrivant en français, je ne peux pas éditer mes textes. Mais je suis plus lent dans mon écriture. Le “flow” est plus lent, plus régulé parce que je n’ai pas les mots ou la grammaire pour tout ce que je veux dire. Je ne peux pas m’exprimer aussi fort. Je pense que c’est une bonne idée d’écrire les “papiers du matin” en français un jour par semaine. Et quand je conduis, je peux faire les “papiers du matin” par dictée dans la voiture. Demain, je vais écrire les “papiers du matin” avec Siri.